• Table of Contents

  • Marketing Isn’t Magic—It’s Math (With Better Fonts)
  • The Big Idea: Marketing Is a System, Not a Sorcery
  • The 3-Part Framework: Message, Machine, Metrics
  • 1. Message: Say Something Worth Hearing
  • 2. Machine: Build the Engine, Not Just the Ad
  • 3. Metrics: Measure What Matters (Not Just What’s Easy)
  • Stop Chasing Trends. Start Building Systems.
  • Quick Wins You Can Steal Today
  • Final Thought: Be the CFO’s Favorite Marketer

Marketing Isn’t Magic—It’s Math (With Better Fonts)

Let’s get one thing straight: marketing isn’t a mystical art practiced by hoodie-wearing wizards in open-plan offices. It’s not about “going viral,” manifesting brand energy, or whatever buzzword soup your last agency pitch deck was serving. Marketing is math. It’s strategy. It’s psychology. And yes, it’s a little bit of showbiz—but the kind with spreadsheets backstage.

So if you’re still treating your marketing like a slot machine—pull the lever, pray for leads—it’s time for a wake-up call. And I’m here to pour the cold brew straight into your KPI dashboard.

The Big Idea: Marketing Is a System, Not a Sorcery

Here’s the truth bomb you didn’t know you needed:

“If your marketing results feel like luck, your strategy is broken.”

Great marketing isn’t about chasing trends or hoping your TikTok intern strikes gold. It’s about building a repeatable, measurable system that turns strangers into leads, leads into customers, and customers into raving fans who tattoo your logo on their biceps. (Okay, maybe just their water bottles.)

The 3-Part Framework: Message, Machine, Metrics

Let’s break it down like a DJ at a B2B rave (yes, that’s a thing now):

1. Message: Say Something Worth Hearing

If your brand message could be swapped with your competitor’s and no one would notice, congratulations—you’ve achieved total mediocrity.

• Clarity beats cleverness. If your tagline needs a decoder ring, rewrite it.
• Specificity sells. “We help businesses grow” is as bland as a rice cake. Try “We help SaaS companies double MRR in 6 months.”
• Voice matters. Sound like a human, not a press release. Unless your audience is robots. In which case, beep boop.

Example: Slack didn’t say “We’re a communication platform.” They said, “Be less busy.” Boom. Message. Nailed.

2. Machine: Build the Engine, Not Just the Ad

Marketing isn’t a campaign. It’s a system. A machine. A beautiful, lead-generating Rube Goldberg device that works while you sleep (or pretend to listen in meetings).

• Map the funnel. Awareness → Interest → Consideration → Conversion → Loyalty → Advocacy. If you don’t know where your leads are leaking, you’re just pouring water into a colander.
• Automate the boring stuff. Email sequences, lead scoring, retargeting—if it can be automated, do it. Your team’s creativity should be spent on strategy, not scheduling Tuesday’s newsletter.
• Content is fuel. But not just any content. Create assets that educate, entertain, and convert. Think less “blog post for SEO” and more “ebook that makes your ICP say ‘shut up and take my email.’”

Case in point: HubSpot didn’t just blog. They built a content machine that turned them into the inbound marketing Death Star. Pew pew.

3. Metrics: Measure What Matters (Not Just What’s Easy)

Vanity metrics are like empty calories. They look good on the dashboard but leave your pipeline hungry.

• Track leading indicators. Website traffic is nice, but conversion rate is nicer. Engagement is cute, but pipeline velocity is sexy.
• Align with revenue. If your CEO asks what marketing did this quarter and your answer is “We got 10,000 likes,” you’re about to be liked right out of a job.
• Test, learn, repeat. Every campaign is a science experiment. Hypothesis, test, analyze, optimize. Rinse and repeat until your CAC makes your CFO weep tears of joy.

Pro tip: Set up a dashboard that shows marketing-sourced revenue, CAC, and LTV. Then casually “accidentally” share it in the exec Slack channel. Boom—respect earned.

Stop Chasing Trends. Start Building Systems.

Look, I get it. It’s tempting to jump on the latest marketing bandwagon. Web3! AI! NFTs for plumbers! But if your foundation is shaky, no amount of trend-chasing will save you.

Instead, focus on building a system that works whether or not the algorithm gods are smiling on you this week. A system that turns strategy into results. A system that makes your CEO say, “Marketing is our growth engine,” instead of “What do those people even do?”

Quick Wins You Can Steal Today

• Audit your funnel. Where are leads dropping off? Fix that first.
• Rewrite your homepage headline. Make it about the customer, not your company.
• Set up a lead nurture sequence. Don’t let good leads go cold. Warm them up like leftover pizza—fast and delicious.
• Kill one vanity metric. Pick one stat you’ve been bragging about that doesn’t tie to revenue. Stop tracking it. You’ll feel lighter instantly.

Final Thought: Be the CFO’s Favorite Marketer

When marketing is a system, not a gamble, you become the most dangerous person in the boardroom—in a good way. You can predict growth. You can scale it. You can tie every dollar spent to dollars earned. And that, my friend, is how you go from “cost center” to “revenue driver.”

So stop chasing magic. Start building math. And maybe—just maybe—throw in a better font while you’re at