• Table of Contents

  • Marketing Isn’t Magic—It’s Math (With Better Fonts)
  • The Big Idea: Marketing Is a Revenue Engine, Not a Coloring Book
  • Step 1: Start With the Funnel (No, Not the One With Beer)
  • Here’s a simple B2B funnel framework:
  • Step 2: Know Your Numbers Like You Know Your Coffee Order
  • Step 3: Align With Sales or Prepare for Passive-Aggressive Slack Wars
  • Here’s how to fix it:
  • Step 4: Stop Worshipping Vanity Metrics
  • Step 5: Build a Content Engine That Doesn’t Suck
  • Here’s how to build content that actually converts:
  • Real Talk: A Case Study in Getting It Right

Marketing Isn’t Magic—It’s Math (With Better Fonts)

Let’s get one thing straight: marketing isn’t a mystical art practiced by hoodie-wearing wizards whispering to the algorithm gods. It’s not a vibe. It’s not a TikTok dance. It’s not even “going viral” (whatever that means anymore). Marketing is math. It’s strategy. It’s business. And yes, it’s got better fonts than finance, but that doesn’t make it fluff.

If your marketing team is still chasing “brand awareness” without a clue how it ties to revenue, congratulations—you’re burning money with the elegance of a bonfire at Burning Man. Let’s fix that.

The Big Idea: Marketing Is a Revenue Engine, Not a Coloring Book

Here’s the truth bomb you didn’t know you needed:

“If your CMO can’t talk CAC, LTV, and pipeline velocity, you don’t have a CMO—you have a party planner with a Canva account.”

Marketing is a business function. It should be held to the same standards as sales, product, and finance. That means metrics, accountability, and yes—math. Let’s break down how to build a marketing strategy that doesn’t just look good in a pitch deck but actually moves the damn needle.

Step 1: Start With the Funnel (No, Not the One With Beer)

Every marketer should be able to map their efforts to a revenue funnel. If you can’t, you’re not doing marketing—you’re doing performance art.

Here’s a simple B2B funnel framework:

• Top of Funnel (TOFU): Awareness and traffic. Think content, SEO, paid media, PR.
• Middle of Funnel (MOFU): Engagement and lead capture. Think webinars, lead magnets, email nurture.
• Bottom of Funnel (BOFU): Conversion and sales enablement. Think case studies, demos, retargeting.

Now ask yourself: what are you doing at each stage? What’s working? What’s not? If your answer is “we’re just trying to get more followers,” I’m going to need you to sit down and rethink your life choices.

Step 2: Know Your Numbers Like You Know Your Coffee Order

Every CMO worth their stock options should be fluent in the following:

• CAC (Customer Acquisition Cost): How much are you spending to get a customer?
• LTV (Lifetime Value): How much is that customer worth over time?
• Conversion Rates: Across every stage of the funnel.
• Pipeline Velocity: How fast are leads moving through the funnel?

If you don’t know these numbers, you’re not a marketer—you’re a magician hoping the rabbit jumps out of the hat on cue.

Step 3: Align With Sales or Prepare for Passive-Aggressive Slack Wars

Marketing and sales should be like peanut butter and jelly—not peanut butter and resentment. If your sales team thinks your leads are garbage, and you think they couldn’t close a door, you’ve got a problem.

Here’s how to fix it:

• Define MQLs and SQLs together: Don’t let marketing hand off leads that sales won’t touch with a ten-foot pole.
• Set shared pipeline goals: If you’re not both on the hook for revenue, you’re not aligned—you’re roommates with separate bank accounts.
• Meet weekly: Yes, every week. No, not just when things are on fire.

Alignment isn’t a buzzword—it’s a business necessity. And if you’re not doing it, you’re leaving money on the table and probably blaming each other for it.

Step 4: Stop Worshipping Vanity Metrics

Likes don’t pay the bills. Impressions don’t close deals. And “brand engagement” is just a fancy way of saying “we don’t know what this does, but it looks pretty.”

Here’s what actually matters:

• Qualified leads generated
• Pipeline influenced
• Revenue attributed
• Customer retention and expansion

Everything else is noise. Or worse—distraction dressed up in a KPI costume.

Step 5: Build a Content Engine That Doesn’t Suck

Content is still king, but most of what’s out there is more like the court jester—loud, useless, and trying too hard to be funny. (Yes, I see the irony.)

Here’s how to build content that actually converts:

• Start with customer pain points: If your content doesn’t solve a problem, it’s just noise.
• Map content to funnel stages: Don’t give a case study to someone who just Googled “what is CRM?”
• Repurpose like a pro: One webinar = 5 blog posts = 10 social posts = 1 lead magnet. Squeeze that lemon.

And for the love of all that is holy, stop writing like a robot. Your audience is made of humans. Talk to them like one.

Real Talk: A Case Study in Getting It Right

Let’s talk about Gong. They didn’t just build a brand—they built a movement. Their content is sharp, their messaging is clear, and their marketing team knows exactly how their efforts tie to revenue. They don