• Table of Contents

  • Marketing Isn’t Magic—It’s Math (With Better Fonts)
  • The Big Idea: Marketing Is a System, Not a Slogan
  • Step 1: Know Your Numbers (No, Really Know Them)
  • Quick Math Framework: The Marketing Equation
  • Step 2: Build a Funnel, Not a Fantasy
  • Step 3: Stop Worshipping the Algorithm Gods
  • Step 4: Attribution Isn’t Optional
  • Step 5: Creative Still Matters—But It’s Not a Free Pass
  • Real Talk: A Case Study in Systemic Marketing

Marketing Isn’t Magic—It’s Math (With Better Fonts)

Let’s get one thing straight: marketing isn’t a mystical art practiced by robe-wearing creatives who chant “brand awareness” under a full moon. It’s not Hogwarts. It’s not even Hogwarts-adjacent. Marketing is math. It’s strategy. It’s psychology. And yes, it’s a little bit of theater—but the kind with a spreadsheet backstage and a P&L in the front row.

So why do so many marketers still act like they’re casting spells instead of building systems? Because it’s easier to say “we’re going viral” than to admit you don’t know your CAC from your elbow.

The Big Idea: Marketing Is a System, Not a Slogan

Here’s the truth bomb you didn’t know you needed:

“If your marketing can’t be measured, it’s not marketing—it’s performance art.”

And unless you’re charging admission to your brand’s interpretive dance about synergy, you need to start thinking in systems.

Step 1: Know Your Numbers (No, Really Know Them)

Let’s play a game. If I asked you your CAC (Customer Acquisition Cost), LTV (Lifetime Value), and ROAS (Return on Ad Spend), would you:

• A) Rattle them off like your kids’ birthdays
• B) Say “I think our agency has that somewhere…”
• C) Pretend your Wi-Fi just cut out

If you didn’t answer A, we’ve got work to do. Because without these numbers, you’re not marketing—you’re gambling. And the house always wins (unless you’re the house, in which case, congrats, you’re Amazon).

Quick Math Framework: The Marketing Equation

Here’s a simple framework to tattoo on your brain:

LTV > CAC = Profit

If your customer’s lifetime value is greater than what it costs to acquire them, you’re in business. If not, you’re just lighting money on fire and calling it “brand building.”

Step 2: Build a Funnel, Not a Fantasy

Funnels aren’t sexy. They don’t win Cannes Lions. But they do win revenue. And last time I checked, revenue pays for the awards.

Here’s a no-BS funnel structure that works:

• Top of Funnel (TOFU): Awareness. Get attention. Be loud, be weird, be useful—but be seen.
• Middle of Funnel (MOFU): Consideration. Educate, nurture, and prove you’re not just another pretty logo.
• Bottom of Funnel (BOFU): Conversion. Make it easy to buy. No 17-click checkout journeys, please.

Each stage needs its own content, its own KPIs, and its own budget. If you’re using the same message for everyone, you’re basically yelling “MARRY ME” at strangers on the street. (Spoiler: it doesn’t work.)

Step 3: Stop Worshipping the Algorithm Gods

Yes, the algorithm matters. But if your entire strategy is “hope TikTok likes us,” you’re not a marketer—you’re a contestant on a reality show called Will This Go Viral?

Instead, focus on what you can control:

• Your message
• Your audience
• Your offer
• Your follow-up

Algorithms change. Audiences evolve. But a great offer to the right person at the right time? That’s eternal. Like Cher. Or email marketing.

Step 4: Attribution Isn’t Optional

If you don’t know what’s working, you can’t scale it. And if you don’t know what’s broken, you can’t fix it. That’s why attribution is your best friend—even if it’s the friend who always tells you the hard truth.

Use tools like:

• UTM parameters (yes, they’re ugly, but so is guesswork)
• Multi-touch attribution models (because not every sale is a one-night stand)
• CRM integrations (because spreadsheets are not a CRM, Karen)

Track everything. Then track it again. Then make decisions based on data, not vibes.

Step 5: Creative Still Matters—But It’s Not a Free Pass

Look, I love a good campaign as much as the next CMO. But if your creative isn’t tied to a business goal, it’s just expensive art. And unless you’re Banksy, that’s not a business model.

Great creative should:

• Stop the scroll
• Communicate value fast
• Drive action (not just applause)

Remember: clever is good. Converting is better. If you can do both? You’re a unicorn. Or at least a well-paid consultant.

Real Talk: A Case Study in Systemic Marketing

Let’s talk about a SaaS company I worked with. They were spending $100K/month on ads and couldn’t tell me what was working. Their dashboard looked like a Jackson Pollock painting—colorful, chaotic, and completely useless.

We implemented a simple system:

• Defined CAC and LTV by channel
• Built a segmented funnel with tailored messaging
• Set up attribution tracking across all touchpoints
• Tested creative weekly with clear KPIs