• Table of Contents

  • Marketing Isn’t Magic—It’s Math (With Better Fonts)
  • The Big Idea: Marketing Is a Profit Center, Not a Party Planner
  • Step 1: Know Your Numbers Like a CFO in a Panic Room
  • Step 2: Build a Funnel That Doesn’t Leak Like a Sieve
  • The 3-Part Funnel Framework That Actually Works
  • Step 3: Align With Sales or Prepare for Passive-Aggressive Slack Wars
  • Step 4: Stop Chasing Trends and Start Building Strategy
  • Real Talk: Case Study Time

Marketing Isn’t Magic—It’s Math (With Better Fonts)

Let’s get one thing straight: marketing isn’t a mystical art practiced by hoodie-wearing wizards whispering to the algorithm gods. It’s not a vibe. It’s not a TikTok dance. It’s not even “going viral” (whatever that means anymore). Marketing is math. It’s strategy. It’s business. And yes, it’s got better fonts than finance, but that doesn’t make it fluff.

If your marketing plan can’t be explained on a whiteboard with a Sharpie and a hangover, it’s not a plan—it’s a Pinterest board. And if your CMO is still talking about “brand love” without showing you a CAC-to-LTV ratio, you don’t have a CMO. You have a poet with a LinkedIn Premium account.

The Big Idea: Marketing Is a Profit Center, Not a Party Planner

Here’s the truth bomb you didn’t know you needed:

“If your marketing doesn’t make money, it’s not marketing—it’s decoration.”

Marketing should be the engine that drives revenue, not the department that picks the playlist for the company offsite. If your CEO sees marketing as a cost center, that’s not their fault—it’s yours. You haven’t shown them the math.

Step 1: Know Your Numbers Like a CFO in a Panic Room

Let’s talk metrics. Not the vanity kind (looking at you, “impressions”), but the ones that actually move the business:

• Customer Acquisition Cost (CAC): How much are you spending to get a customer? If it’s more than their first purchase, congrats—you’re running a charity.
• Lifetime Value (LTV): How much will that customer spend over time? If you don’t know, you’re flying blind with a blindfold on… in a thunderstorm… with no landing gear.
• Conversion Rate: Are your leads converting, or are they just ghosting you like a bad Tinder date?
• Marketing-Generated Pipeline: How much of your sales pipeline is coming from marketing? If it’s under 30%, you’re not a growth engine—you’re a fog machine.

These numbers are your power tools. Use them. Build dashboards. Tattoo them on your forearm if you have to. Because when the CFO comes knocking, you better have more than a mood board and a Canva subscription.

Step 2: Build a Funnel That Doesn’t Leak Like a Sieve

Funnels are not just for frat parties and pancake batter. They’re how you turn strangers into customers into evangelists. But most companies treat their funnel like a suggestion, not a system.

The 3-Part Funnel Framework That Actually Works

• Top of Funnel (TOFU): Awareness. This is where you attract attention. Think content, SEO, PR, and ads that don’t make people want to throw their phones.
• Middle of Funnel (MOFU): Consideration. Nurture leads with email, webinars, case studies, and the occasional meme that actually lands.
• Bottom of Funnel (BOFU): Conversion. This is where the money happens. Demos, trials, pricing pages, and sales enablement that doesn’t read like a hostage note.

If your funnel is just “post on LinkedIn and hope,” you’re not marketing—you’re manifesting. And unless your name is Oprah, that’s not a strategy.

Step 3: Align With Sales or Prepare for Passive-Aggressive Slack Wars

Marketing and sales should be like peanut butter and jelly—not peanut butter and resentment. If your sales team thinks your leads are garbage, guess what? They’re not wrong until you prove otherwise.

Here’s how to fix it:

• Define a Qualified Lead: Agree on what a good lead looks like. If marketing says “downloaded an ebook” and sales says “booked a demo,” you’ve got a problem.
• Share Data Weekly: Pipeline reviews aren’t just for sales. Marketing should be in the room, asking hard questions and owning outcomes.
• Use SLAs: Service Level Agreements between marketing and sales keep everyone honest. If marketing delivers 100 leads, sales agrees to follow up within 24 hours. No ghosting allowed.

Alignment isn’t a kumbaya moment—it’s a contract. Treat it like one.

Step 4: Stop Chasing Trends and Start Building Strategy

Every week there’s a new shiny object: Threads, Clubhouse, BeReal, whatever Elon’s tweeting about. But if your strategy changes every time a new app trends on Product Hunt, you’re not agile—you’re aimless.

Instead, build a strategy that’s platform-agnostic and audience-obsessed. Ask:

• Who are we trying to reach?
• What problem are we solving for them?
• Where do they spend their time?
• How do we earn their trust and attention?

Then—and only then—pick your channels. Because TikTok might be hot, but if your buyers are CIOs in their 50s, you’re better off with a killer webinar and a LinkedIn strategy that doesn’t involve inspirational quotes from Steve Jobs.

Real Talk: Case Study Time

Let’s look at a B2B SaaS company I worked with. They were spending $100K/month on paid ads and getting… drumroll… 12 demos. That’s $8,333 per demo. I’ve seen Super Bowl ads with better ROI.

We audited their funnel, redefined their ICP, killed half their ad spend, and rein