• Table of Contents

  • Marketing Isn’t Magic—It’s Math (With Better Fonts)
  • The Myth of the Magical Marketer
  • Framework: The Math-First Marketing Model
  • 1. Market: Know Who You’re Talking To
  • 2. Message: Say the Right Thing, Not the Pretty Thing
  • 3. Math: Track What Matters (and Ignore the Vanity)
  • Case Study: The SaaS Startup That Stopped Guessing
  • Stop Worshipping the Algorithm
  • Marketing Tips You Can Use Before Your Next Coffee Refill
  • The Bottom Line

Marketing Isn’t Magic—It’s Math (With Better Fonts)

Let’s get one thing straight: marketing isn’t a mystical art practiced by robe-wearing creatives in candlelit rooms. It’s not a Ouija board session where we summon “brand awareness” from the spirit realm. It’s math. It’s strategy. It’s psychology. And yes, it’s occasionally a killer font choice. But mostly? It’s math.

So why do so many marketers still act like they’re casting spells instead of calculating outcomes? Because it’s easier to say “we’re building buzz” than to admit you don’t know your CAC from your elbow.

The Myth of the Magical Marketer

Somewhere along the way, marketing got confused with wizardry. CEOs started expecting CMOs to “go viral,” “make it pop,” or “just do that thing Apple does.” (Spoiler: Apple spends $2.5 billion a year on marketing. That’s the thing Apple does.)

But here’s the truth bomb:

“Marketing isn’t about making noise. It’s about making numbers move.”

And if your marketing isn’t tied to a spreadsheet, a funnel, or a forecast, you’re not a marketer—you’re a magician. And not the good kind. The kind that pulls rabbits out of hats while the competition pulls customers out of your pipeline.

Framework: The Math-First Marketing Model

Let’s break down a simple, no-BS framework that turns marketing from a guessing game into a growth engine. I call it the 3M Model: Market, Message, Math.

1. Market: Know Who You’re Talking To

If your target audience is “everyone,” your actual audience will be “no one.” Get specific. Get creepy. Know your customer better than their therapist does.

• Build ICPs (Ideal Customer Profiles) with real data, not vibes
• Use tools like SparkToro, LinkedIn Sales Navigator, or even Reddit (yes, Reddit) to understand where your audience hangs out and what keeps them up at night
• Talk to sales. They know who’s buying and who’s ghosting

2. Message: Say the Right Thing, Not the Pretty Thing

“We’re a customer-centric, AI-powered, scalable solution for digital transformation.” Cool. So is everyone else. Your message should punch like Tyson, not whisper like a TED Talk.

• Lead with pain, not product. Solve a problem, don’t sell a feature
• Use language your customer actually uses (hint: they don’t say “omnichannel synergy” at dinner)
• Test headlines like you test landing pages—because words convert

3. Math: Track What Matters (and Ignore the Vanity)

Likes don’t pay the bills. Neither do impressions, reach, or that one intern who said your campaign was “fire.” Focus on metrics that tie to revenue:

• CAC (Customer Acquisition Cost)
• LTV (Lifetime Value)
• Conversion Rate by Channel
• Pipeline Velocity (aka: how fast are leads turning into deals?)

And for the love of all things holy, build a dashboard that doesn’t require a PhD in data science to read. If your CEO can’t understand it in 30 seconds, it’s not a dashboard—it’s a data hostage situation.

Case Study: The SaaS Startup That Stopped Guessing

Let me tell you about a SaaS company I worked with. They were spending $50K/month on paid ads and couldn’t tell me what was working. Their strategy? “We’re just trying stuff.” (Translation: “We’re lighting money on fire and hoping for a miracle.”)

We implemented the 3M Model. Within 90 days:

• They cut ad spend by 40%
• Increased qualified leads by 60%
• Reduced CAC by 35%

How? We stopped guessing. We started measuring. We ditched the “brand awareness” fluff and focused on funnel math. And yes, we still made it look good—because ugly marketing is a crime—but we led with numbers, not noise.

Stop Worshipping the Algorithm

Here’s another spicy take: if your entire strategy is “beat the LinkedIn algorithm,” you don’t have a strategy. You have a coping mechanism.

Algorithms change. Audiences don’t. Focus on delivering value, not gaming the feed. If your content is actually useful, people will find it. Share it. Screenshot it. Tattoo it on their forearm. (Okay, maybe not that last one. But you get the idea.)

Marketing Tips You Can Use Before Your Next Coffee Refill

• Audit your funnel: Where are leads leaking? Patch it before you pour more in.
• Kill one vanity metric: Pick one stat you brag about but can’t tie to revenue. Stop tracking it. You’ll feel lighter.
• Write one email that doesn’t suck: No “Hope this finds you well.” Say something real. Be human. Be helpful.
• Ask sales what content they actually use: Then make more of that. Not what marketing thinks is “on brand.”

The Bottom Line

Marketing isn’t magic. It’s not a vibe. It’s not a TikTok dance. It’s a business function with a job to do: drive growth. And the best marketers? They don’t just make things look good—they make things work.

So the next time someone asks you to “make it go viral,” smile politely