• Table of Contents

  • Marketing Isn’t Magic—It’s Math (With Better Fonts)
  • The Big Idea: Marketing Is a System, Not a Slogan
  • Step 1: Know Your Numbers (Yes, All of Them)
  • Step 2: Build a Funnel, Not a Fantasy
  • Step 3: Stop Worshipping the Algorithm
  • Step 4: Align With Sales or Die Trying
  • Step 5: Test, Learn, Repeat (Then Brag About It)

Marketing Isn’t Magic—It’s Math (With Better Fonts)

Let’s get one thing straight: marketing isn’t a mystical art practiced by robe-wearing creatives who chant “brand awareness” under a full moon. It’s not Hogwarts. It’s not even Hogwarts-adjacent. Marketing is math. It’s strategy. It’s psychology. And yes, it’s a little bit of theater—but the kind where the audience buys tickets, not just claps politely.

So why do so many marketers still act like they’re casting spells instead of building systems? Because it’s easier to say “we need to go viral” than to admit you don’t know your CAC from your elbow.

The Big Idea: Marketing Is a System, Not a Slogan

Here’s the truth bomb you didn’t know you needed:

“If your marketing can’t be measured, it’s not marketing—it’s performance art.”

And unless you’re charging $150 a seat and handing out playbills, performance art doesn’t pay the bills.

Let’s break down how to build a marketing system that actually works—one that doesn’t rely on hope, hashtags, or the algorithm gods smiling upon you.

Step 1: Know Your Numbers (Yes, All of Them)

If you can’t recite your CAC, LTV, and conversion rate faster than your Starbucks order, you’re not running marketing—you’re running a bake sale with a blindfold on.

• CAC (Customer Acquisition Cost): How much it costs to get someone to buy. If it’s higher than your LTV, congrats—you’re paying people to be your customers.
• LTV (Lifetime Value): How much a customer is worth over time. This is your north star. Or at least your north-ish star.
• Conversion Rate: The percentage of people who do what you want them to do. If it’s under 1%, you’re either targeting the wrong people or your landing page is a dumpster fire.

Track these. Obsess over them. Tattoo them on your forearm if you have to (or just use a dashboard, you weirdo).

Step 2: Build a Funnel, Not a Fantasy

Too many marketers build what I call “wish funnels.” They look like this:

• Step 1: Post something clever on LinkedIn
• Step 2: ???
• Step 3: Revenue!

Here’s what a real funnel looks like:

• Top of Funnel (TOFU): Awareness. Get in front of the right people. Not just anyone with a pulse and a Wi-Fi connection.
• Middle of Funnel (MOFU): Consideration. Educate, nurture, and build trust. This is where content marketing earns its keep.
• Bottom of Funnel (BOFU): Conversion. Make the ask. Close the deal. Don’t be shy—this is business, not Tinder.

Each stage needs its own content, its own metrics, and its own strategy. If you’re using the same blog post for TOFU and BOFU, you’re doing it wrong. That’s like using a butter knife to cut a steak—technically possible, but deeply sad.

Step 3: Stop Worshipping the Algorithm

Social media is not your savior. It’s a tool. And like any tool, it can build a house or smash your thumb. The algorithm doesn’t care about your brand story. It cares about engagement. And engagement doesn’t always equal revenue.

Instead of chasing likes like a golden retriever on espresso, focus on building owned channels:

• Email: Still the highest ROI channel in marketing. If you’re not building a list, you’re building someone else’s audience.
• Website: Your digital HQ. Make it fast, clear, and conversion-optimized. Not a digital brochure from 2009.
• CRM: Know your customers. Talk to them. Segment them. Treat them like humans, not just data points.

Remember: the algorithm giveth, and the algorithm taketh away. Usually right after you’ve finally figured it out.

Step 4: Align With Sales or Die Trying

If your marketing and sales teams aren’t aligned, you’re not a company—you’re a dysfunctional family with a shared Google Drive.

Here’s how to fix it:

• Shared KPIs: Leads don’t matter if they don’t close. Align on revenue, not vanity metrics.
• Regular Syncs: Weekly meetings. No excuses. If you can’t talk to sales, you can’t support them.
• Feedback Loops: What’s working? What’s not? What leads are garbage? Sales knows—ask them.

Marketing without sales is like a Tinder profile with no bio. You might get swipes, but you won’t get dates.

Step 5: Test, Learn, Repeat (Then Brag About It)

Marketing is not a one-and-done game. It’s a lab. You test. You learn. You iterate. And then you tell everyone how smart you are in a case study.

Here’s a simple framework:

• Hypothesis: “If we change the CTA from ‘Learn More’ to ‘Get the Damn Guide,’ conversions will go up.”
• Test: A/B it. Don’t just guess—measure.
• Learn: