-
Table of Contents
- Marketing Isn’t Magic—It’s Math (With Better Fonts)
- The Myth of the Marketing Unicorn
- The 3-Part Framework for Marketing That Actually Works
- 1. Know Your Numbers (Yes, All of Them)
- 2. Build a Funnel, Not a Firework
- 3. Test, Learn, Repeat (Then Brag About It)
- Case Study: The SaaS Startup That Stopped Guessing
- Stop Worshipping the Algorithm
- The Bottom Line (Literally)
Marketing Isn’t Magic—It’s Math (With Better Fonts)
Let’s get one thing straight: marketing isn’t a mystical art practiced by hoodie-wearing wizards whispering to the algorithm gods. It’s not a vibe. It’s not a TikTok dance. And it sure as hell isn’t “just making things go viral.”
Marketing is math. It’s strategy. It’s psychology. It’s spreadsheets with better fonts and a few more GIFs. And if you’re not treating it like a business function with KPIs, ROI, and a plan that doesn’t involve “hope,” then you’re not doing marketing—you’re doing expensive guessing.
The Myth of the Marketing Unicorn
Somewhere along the way, we started believing that great marketing is about finding a unicorn—a magical campaign that explodes overnight, gets 10 million views, and makes your CFO cry tears of joy. Spoiler alert: unicorns aren’t real. And if they were, they’d be terrible at attribution modeling.
Here’s the truth bomb:
“Marketing isn’t about finding unicorns. It’s about building a damn good horse and teaching it to run faster than everyone else’s.”
So let’s stop chasing fairy dust and start building systems that scale.
The 3-Part Framework for Marketing That Actually Works
Want to stop guessing and start growing? Here’s a framework that works whether you’re selling SaaS, socks, or sandwiches:
1. Know Your Numbers (Yes, All of Them)
If you can’t tell me your CAC, LTV, and conversion rate faster than you can say “brand awareness,” we’ve got a problem. Marketing without metrics is like driving blindfolded—sure, you’re moving, but you’re probably headed for a wall.
- CAC (Customer Acquisition Cost): How much are you spending to get a customer? If it’s more than they’re worth, congrats—you’re running a charity.
- LTV (Lifetime Value): How much is a customer worth over time? If you don’t know, you’re flying blind on budget decisions.
- Conversion Rate: Are your campaigns actually converting, or are you just impressing your mom with your Instagram ads?
2. Build a Funnel, Not a Firework
Too many marketers build fireworks—big, flashy campaigns that explode once and disappear. What you need is a funnel: a repeatable, scalable system that turns strangers into leads, leads into customers, and customers into evangelists (the good kind, not the ones who show up at your door with pamphlets).
Here’s a simple funnel structure that works:
- Top of Funnel (TOFU): Awareness. Get attention with content, ads, or PR that doesn’t suck.
- Middle of Funnel (MOFU): Consideration. Nurture leads with email, webinars, or case studies that prove you’re not just another pretty landing page.
- Bottom of Funnel (BOFU): Conversion. Close the deal with demos, offers, or sales calls that don’t feel like hostage negotiations.
3. Test, Learn, Repeat (Then Brag About It)
Marketing is a science experiment with better coffee. You test hypotheses, measure results, and iterate. If you’re not A/B testing your way to better performance, you’re just A/B hoping.
Here’s how to do it right:
- Start with a hypothesis: “Changing the CTA from ‘Buy Now’ to ‘Steal This Deal’ will increase clicks.”
- Run the test: Use tools like Google Optimize, Optimizely, or even a good ol’ spreadsheet.
- Measure results: Don’t just look at clicks—look at revenue impact. Vanity metrics are for influencers, not CMOs.
Case Study: The SaaS Startup That Stopped Guessing
Let’s talk about a real company—call them “SaaSy McStartup.” They were burning $50K/month on ads with no idea what was working. Their strategy? “Let’s just try stuff and see what sticks.” (Also known as the spaghetti method.)
We came in, built a funnel, tracked every step, and cut 40% of their ad spend while increasing conversions by 60%. How? By doing the unsexy stuff:
- Mapping the customer journey
- Setting up proper attribution (yes, even offline)
- Testing messaging like mad scientists on Red Bull
Now they’re profitable, predictable, and no longer crying into their HubSpot dashboards.
Stop Worshipping the Algorithm
Look, I get it. The algorithm is mysterious. It changes more often than a teenager’s mood. But if your entire strategy is “please the algorithm,” you’re building your business on rented land. And guess what? The landlord doesn’t care about your engagement rate.
Instead, focus on:
- Owning your audience (email > social)
- Creating evergreen content that compounds
- Building brand equity that doesn’t vanish with the next update
The Bottom Line (Literally)
Marketing isn’t magic. It’s not luck. It’s not “just being creative.” It’s a business function that should drive revenue, not just retweets. If your marketing team can’t tie their work to pipeline, it’s time for a come-to-Jesus meeting—with a spreadsheet.
So ditch the fairy dust. Embrace the math. And remember: the best marketers aren’t the loudest—they’re the ones