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Table of Contents
- Marketing Isn’t Magic—It’s Math (With Better Fonts)
- The Big Idea: Marketing Is a Profit Engine, Not a Party Trick
- Step 1: Know Your Numbers (No, Really Know Them)
- Here’s what you need to track like your bonus depends on it (because it does):
- Step 2: Build a Funnel, Not a Fantasy
- Here’s a real funnel framework that works:
- Step 3: Align With Sales or Prepare for War
- Here’s how to fix the eternal marketing-sales cold war:
- Step 4: Test, Learn, Repeat (Then Brag About It)
- Real Example: The SaaS Startup That Stopped Chasing Likes
Marketing Isn’t Magic—It’s Math (With Better Fonts)
Let’s get one thing straight: marketing isn’t a mystical art practiced by robe-wearing creatives who chant “engagement” under a full moon. It’s not a vibe. It’s not a feeling. It’s not a TikTok dance. Marketing is math. It’s strategy. It’s business. And yes, it’s also fonts—but only the good ones (looking at you, Comic Sans).
Too many marketers are still chasing “virality” like it’s the Holy Grail, when what they really need is a calculator, a spreadsheet, and a spine. If your marketing plan can’t be explained on a whiteboard without using the word “vibes,” you don’t have a plan—you have a Pinterest board.
The Big Idea: Marketing Is a Profit Engine, Not a Party Trick
Here’s the truth bomb you didn’t know you needed:
“If your marketing isn’t making money, it’s just expensive noise.”
Marketing should be the engine that drives revenue, not the confetti cannon you fire off at your next product launch. It’s not about being loud—it’s about being effective. And effectiveness starts with numbers, not hashtags.
Step 1: Know Your Numbers (No, Really Know Them)
Let’s play a game. If I asked you your CAC (Customer Acquisition Cost), LTV (Lifetime Value), and conversion rate from MQL to SQL, could you answer without Googling it or calling your data analyst in a panic?
If not, you’re not a marketer—you’re a mascot. And mascots don’t drive growth. They dance around while the real players win the game.
Here’s what you need to track like your bonus depends on it (because it does):
- Customer Acquisition Cost (CAC): How much are you spending to get a customer? If it’s more than they’re worth, congrats—you’re running a charity, not a business.
- Lifetime Value (LTV): How much revenue does a customer bring in over time? This is your north star. If you don’t know it, you’re flying blind in a thunderstorm.
- Conversion Rates: From ad click to closed deal, where are people dropping off? Fix the leaks before you pour more water in the bucket.
Marketing math isn’t sexy, but neither is bankruptcy. Know your numbers or prepare to be replaced by someone who does.
Step 2: Build a Funnel, Not a Fantasy
Funnels are not just for frat parties and pancake batter. They’re how you turn strangers into customers and customers into evangelists. But too many marketers are building fantasy funnels—ones that assume people will magically convert because your brand “feels authentic.”
Here’s a real funnel framework that works:
- Top of Funnel (TOFU): Awareness. Get attention with content that educates, entertains, or enrages (in a good way).
- Middle of Funnel (MOFU): Consideration. Give them reasons to trust you—case studies, webinars, product demos, or a really good meme strategy.
- Bottom of Funnel (BOFU): Conversion. Make it easy to buy. Clear CTAs, no fluff, and a landing page that doesn’t look like it was built in 2007.
And for the love of all things holy, stop calling it a “customer journey” if you haven’t mapped it out. That’s not a journey—it’s a scavenger hunt with no clues.
Step 3: Align With Sales or Prepare for War
Marketing and sales should be like peanut butter and jelly—not peanut butter and passive-aggressive Slack messages. If your sales team thinks your leads are garbage, guess what? They’re not going to follow up. And if you think sales isn’t closing fast enough, maybe your leads aren’t as hot as you think.
Here’s how to fix the eternal marketing-sales cold war:
- Define a qualified lead together. If marketing says “MQL” and sales says “WTF,” you’ve got a problem.
- Share dashboards. Transparency builds trust. Or at least makes it harder to point fingers.
- Meet weekly. Not to sing kumbaya, but to align on goals, feedback, and what’s actually working.
Alignment isn’t a buzzword—it’s a business strategy. And if you’re not aligned, you’re just burning budget and blaming each other.
Step 4: Test, Learn, Repeat (Then Brag About It)
Marketing is not a one-and-done game. It’s a constant loop of testing, learning, and optimizing. If you’re not running A/B tests, you’re just guessing in a very expensive way.
Try different headlines. Test CTAs. Play with pricing. Change your email subject lines. And when something works, scale it like your job depends on it—because it does.
And when something flops? Own it. Learn from it. Then make a LinkedIn post about how you failed fast and pivoted like a boss. Because nothing says “thought leader” like a well-packaged failure story with a graph.
Real Example: The SaaS Startup That Stopped Chasing Likes
I worked with a SaaS company that was spending $50K/month on social media content that got tons of likes but zero leads. Their CEO thought they were “crushing it” because their Instagram was 🔥. Meanwhile, their pipeline was colder than a polar bear’s toenails.
We cut the fluff, focused on SEO, built a lead magnet that actually solved a problem, and aligned with sales on what a qualified lead looked like. Within
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