• Table of Contents

  • Marketing Isn’t Magic—It’s Math (With Better Fonts)
  • The Myth of the Marketing Unicorn
  • Step 1: Know Your Numbers (Or Die Trying)
  • Here are the non-negotiables:
  • Step 2: Build a Funnel, Not a Fantasy
  • The Revenue Funnel Framework (That Actually Works)
  • Step 3: Stop Worshipping the Algorithm
  • Instead, focus on:
  • Step 4: Align With Sales or Prepare for War
  • Here’s how to make it happen:

Marketing Isn’t Magic—It’s Math (With Better Fonts)

Let’s get one thing straight: marketing isn’t a mystical art practiced by robe-wearing creatives who chant “brand awareness” under a full moon. It’s not a vibe. It’s not a feeling. And it sure as hell isn’t just a TikTok dance away from success.

Marketing is math. It’s strategy. It’s systems. It’s spreadsheets with soul. And if your CMO can’t explain your CAC:LTV ratio but can name every Pantone color in the 2023 palette, you’ve got a problem. (And probably a very pretty pitch deck.)

The Myth of the Marketing Unicorn

Somewhere along the way, we started expecting marketers to be part data scientist, part brand whisperer, part social media savant, and part stand-up comic. (Okay, guilty on that last one.)

But here’s the truth bomb:

“Marketing isn’t about being everything. It’s about doing the right things, in the right order, with ruthless consistency.”

So let’s break down what actually matters—and how to stop chasing unicorns and start building revenue machines.

Step 1: Know Your Numbers (Or Die Trying)

If you don’t know your numbers, you’re not a marketer. You’re a magician. And not the good kind—more like the guy pulling rabbits out of hats at a kid’s birthday party while the CFO side-eyes your budget.

Here are the non-negotiables:

• Customer Acquisition Cost (CAC): How much it costs to get a customer. If it’s higher than your LTV, congrats—you’re paying people to buy from you.
• Lifetime Value (LTV): How much a customer is worth over time. If you don’t know this, you’re flying blind. In a hurricane. With no pants.
• Conversion Rates: From ad to lead, lead to MQL, MQL to SQL, SQL to closed deal. If you’re not tracking this, you’re just “doing stuff” and hoping it works.
• Marketing-Sourced Revenue: If you can’t tie your efforts to revenue, you’re not a growth engine—you’re a cost center with a Canva subscription.

Want to be taken seriously in the boardroom? Show up with a dashboard, not a mood board.

Step 2: Build a Funnel, Not a Fantasy

Too many marketers are still living in the land of “let’s go viral” and “we just need one big campaign.” That’s not a strategy—that’s a Hail Mary in a game you’re already losing.

Instead, build a funnel that works like a factory. Inputs, outputs, and optimization at every stage.

The Revenue Funnel Framework (That Actually Works)

• Top of Funnel (TOFU): Awareness and attention. Think content, ads, SEO, and PR. But make it strategic—not just “let’s post more on LinkedIn.”
• Middle of Funnel (MOFU): Nurture and educate. Email sequences, webinars, case studies. This is where you turn interest into intent.
• Bottom of Funnel (BOFU): Convert and close. Demos, trials, sales enablement. This is where marketing and sales need to be tighter than your CFO’s budget approvals.

Each stage should have KPIs, content, and conversion goals. If your funnel has more leaks than a government agency, fix it before you pour more money in.

Step 3: Stop Worshipping the Algorithm

Social media is not your savior. It’s a tool. And like any tool, it can build a house—or smash your thumb if you don’t know what you’re doing.

Chasing trends is not a strategy. It’s a treadmill. And the algorithm doesn’t care about your brand story—it cares about engagement. So unless your content is actually useful, funny, or mind-blowingly good, it’s just noise.

Instead, focus on:

• Owned Channels: Email lists, communities, your website. These are assets, not rented space.
• Evergreen Content: Create assets that compound over time—like SEO-optimized blog posts, pillar pages, and high-value lead magnets.
• Distribution Strategy: Don’t just create content—engineer how it gets seen. Paid, organic, partnerships, syndication. If you build it, they won’t come. You have to drag them there with a compelling CTA and maybe a free eBook.

Step 4: Align With Sales or Prepare for War

If your marketing and sales teams are throwing shade at each other like it’s a Real Housewives reunion, you’ve got bigger problems than your click-through rate.

Alignment isn’t a buzzword—it’s a business necessity. You need shared goals, shared definitions (what the hell is an MQL, anyway?), and shared accountability.

Here’s how to make it happen:

• Weekly Syncs: Not just “check-ins.” Real meetings with data, feedback, and action items.
• SLAs: Service Level Agreements between marketing and sales. You deliver X leads, they follow up in Y hours. No excuses.
• Closed-Loop Reporting: Know what happened to every lead. If marketing is sending junk, fix it. If sales is ghosting leads, fix that too.

When marketing and sales are aligned, magic happens. (Okay, not magic—revenue. But that’s even better.)

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