The Marketing Metrics That Actually Matter to the CFO

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Marketing Isn’t Magic—It’s Math (With Better Fonts)

Let’s get one thing straight: marketing isn’t a mystical art practiced by robe-wearing creatives in candlelit rooms. It’s not a Ouija board. It’s not a vibe. And it sure as hell isn’t “just making things go viral.”

Marketing is math. It’s strategy. It’s psychology. It’s spreadsheets with better fonts and a few more GIFs. And if you’re not treating it like a business function with KPIs, ROI, and a plan that doesn’t rely on “hope” as a tactic, then you’re not doing marketing—you’re doing expensive arts and crafts.

The Myth of the Marketing Unicorn

Somewhere along the way, we started believing that great marketing is about finding a unicorn—a single campaign, a viral video, a tweet that breaks the internet. But here’s the truth bomb:

“If your marketing strategy depends on luck, you don’t have a strategy—you have a lottery ticket.”

And spoiler alert: most lottery tickets don’t pay out.

Instead of chasing unicorns, let’s talk about building a marketing engine that actually works. One that’s predictable, scalable, and doesn’t require sacrificing a goat under a full moon to get results.

The 3-Part Framework for Marketing That Doesn’t Suck

Here’s a simple framework I use with clients who are tired of throwing spaghetti at the wall and calling it strategy:

1. Message-Market Fit

Before you spend a dime on ads, content, or that $20k brand video with slow-motion drone shots of your office plant—ask yourself: does your message actually resonate with your market?

Do you know your customer’s pain points better than they do?
Can you explain your value prop in 10 words or less—without using the word “innovative”?
Have you tested your messaging with real humans, not just your board of directors?

If your message doesn’t land, your marketing will crash harder than a crypto bro’s portfolio in 2022.

2. Channel Discipline

Not every channel is your channel. Just because your cousin’s dog went viral on TikTok doesn’t mean your B2B SaaS company should be doing dance challenges.

Pick 1–2 channels where your audience actually lives and go deep. Master them. Own them. Then—and only then—expand.

Here’s a cheat sheet:

LinkedIn: B2B goldmine. But please, no more “I failed, then I succeeded” humblebrags.
Email: Still the highest ROI channel. If you’re not using it, you’re leaving money on the table—and probably under the table too.
SEO: Long game, but worth it. Like compound interest, but with keywords.

3. Conversion Obsession

Traffic is cute. Conversions are sexy.

Too many marketers celebrate pageviews like they’re revenue. Newsflash: your 10,000 monthly visitors mean nothing if none of them buy, sign up, or even remember your name five minutes later.

Obsess over conversion rates like your bonus depends on it—because it probably should.

Test your CTAs like a mad scientist with a caffeine addiction
Use heatmaps to see where users drop off (hint: it’s probably your 14-paragraph “About Us” page)
Make your forms shorter than a tweet

Case Study: The SaaS Startup That Stopped Chasing Rainbows

I worked with a SaaS startup that had burned through $250k on “brand awareness” campaigns. They had awareness, alright—just not from anyone who could actually buy their product.

We stripped it back to basics:

Rewrote their messaging to focus on one clear pain point
Focused 90% of their budget on LinkedIn and email
Built a lead magnet that didn’t suck (no more “Ultimate Guide to Everything Ever”)

Result? 3x increase in qualified leads in 60 days. No unicorns. Just strategy, execution, and a little tough love.

Stop Worshipping the Algorithm. Start Serving the Audience.

Algorithms change. Audiences don’t. They still want value, clarity, and maybe a laugh or two. (You’re welcome.)

So stop trying to game the system and start building trust. Be useful. Be human. Be the brand that actually gives a damn.

And for the love of all that is holy, stop using stock photos of handshakes. No one has ever made a buying decision because of a handshake photo. Ever.

Final Thought: Marketing Is a Business Function, Not a Party Trick

If you want to be taken seriously in the boardroom, stop acting like marketing is just the “fun” department. Yes, we have better snacks and cooler fonts—but we also drive revenue, shape perception, and build long-term value.

So next time someone asks what marketing does, don’t say “we make things look pretty.” Say:

“We turn attention into revenue. And we do it with style.”

Now Go Build Something That Works

Marketing isn’t magic. It’s math, psychology, and execution. So ditch the glitter, grab a spreadsheet, and let’s build a machine that actually moves the needle.

And if you need help turning your marketing from a money pit into a growth