Leading Through Influence: The CMO’s Real Job

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Marketing Isn’t Magic: It’s Math, Muscle, and a Bit of Mayhem

Let’s get one thing straight: marketing isn’t a Hogwarts elective. There’s no wand, no spell, and definitely no owl delivering your next viral campaign. If your strategy relies on “going viral,” you might as well invest in lottery tickets and call it a day.

Marketing is a business function. Not a vibe. Not a TikTok dance. A function. Like finance, but with better fonts and more caffeine. And if you want to win, you need more than a clever tagline and a Canva subscription. You need math, muscle, and a healthy tolerance for chaos.

The Myth of the Marketing Unicorn

Somewhere along the way, we started believing that great marketing is about finding a unicorn—a magical idea that gallops through the internet, leaving rainbows and revenue in its wake. Spoiler alert: unicorns aren’t real. And neither is effortless growth.

What is real? Systems. Strategy. Relentless execution. And yes, a little mayhem—because if you’re not breaking a few things, you’re probably not pushing hard enough.

Truth Bomb:

“Marketing isn’t about being cute. It’s about being clear, consistent, and commercially dangerous.”

Step 1: Know Your Numbers or Die Trying

If you can’t recite your CAC, LTV, and conversion rates faster than your Netflix password, you’re not a marketer—you’re a mascot. Numbers are your lifeline. They tell you what’s working, what’s wasting money, and what’s quietly setting your brand on fire.

CAC (Customer Acquisition Cost): If it’s higher than your LTV, congratulations—you’re paying people to leave.
LTV (Lifetime Value): The number that tells you how much you can afford to spend to acquire a customer. Treat it like your marketing North Star.
Conversion Rate: If it’s under 1%, you don’t need more traffic—you need a better offer (and maybe a therapist).

Pro tip: Build a dashboard that updates daily. If you’re not looking at your numbers every morning like a stockbroker on Red Bull, you’re flying blind.

Step 2: Build a Message That Could Punch Through a Brick Wall

Most brand messaging sounds like it was written by a committee of beige cardigans. “Innovative solutions for modern problems.” What does that even mean? If your message could be swapped with a competitor’s and no one would notice, you don’t have a brand—you have a brochure.

Here’s how to fix it:

Be Specific: “We help SaaS companies reduce churn by 37% in 90 days.” That’s a message. “We empower digital transformation”? That’s a nap.
Be Bold: If your message doesn’t make someone say “Whoa,” it won’t make them click either.
Be Consistent: Say it everywhere. Say it often. Say it until your team is sick of hearing it—and then say it again.

Remember: clarity beats cleverness. Every. Single. Time.

Step 3: Channels Are Tools, Not Strategies

“We need to be on TikTok!” No, Karen, we need to be where our customers are—and where we can win. Channels are not strategies. They’re just delivery mechanisms. Like pizza boxes. The box doesn’t matter if the pizza sucks.

Here’s how to choose your channels like a grown-up:

Go where your buyers are, not where your competitors are. If your audience is on LinkedIn, stop wasting time on Instagram just because it’s “fun.”
Double down on what works. If email is converting, don’t chase shiny objects. Scale what’s already working before you diversify.
Test fast, kill faster. Run small experiments. If a channel doesn’t show promise in 30 days, cut it. No mercy.

And for the love of all that is holy, stop measuring success in likes. Likes don’t pay the bills. Revenue does.

Step 4: Build a Funnel That Doesn’t Leak Like a Sieve

Most marketing funnels are more like marketing colanders—everything leaks out before it hits sales. You don’t need more leads. You need better follow-up, tighter messaging, and a sales team that doesn’t ghost prospects like a bad Tinder date.

Here’s a simple framework that actually works:

Attract: Use content, ads, and partnerships to pull in the right people.
Convert: Use landing pages, lead magnets, and offers that don’t suck.
Close: Align with sales. Use automation, nurture sequences, and actual human follow-up.
Delight: Onboard like a boss. Turn customers into advocates. Then rinse and repeat.

If your funnel isn’t producing revenue, it’s not a funnel—it’s a PowerPoint slide with dreams.

Step 5: Embrace the Mayhem

Marketing is messy. Algorithms change. Campaigns flop. Your best idea might tank while your worst one goes gangbusters. That’s the game. If you want certainty, go into accounting.

The best marketers aren’t the ones with the perfect plan. They’re the ones who can adapt, pivot, and keep swinging when the data punches them in the face.

So build your systems. Know your numbers. Craft a message that slaps. But also—embrace the chaos. Because in the end, marketing isn’t magic. It’s math