COPY, CONTENT, AND CAMPAIGN EXCELLENCE

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Marketing Isn’t Magic—It’s Math (With Better Fonts)

Let’s get one thing straight: marketing isn’t a mystical art practiced by hoodie-wearing wizards in WeWork dungeons. It’s not about “going viral,” manifesting brand energy, or aligning your chakras with your customer personas. Marketing is math. It’s strategy. It’s psychology. And yes, it’s a little bit of theater—but the kind with a spreadsheet backstage and a P&L in the front row.

So if you’re still chasing TikTok trends like a golden retriever after a squirrel, it’s time to sit down, pour yourself a strong coffee (or a weak whiskey), and let’s talk about how to build marketing that actually works. Not just “feels good.”

The Big Idea: Marketing Is a Profit Center, Not a Party Trick

Here’s the truth bomb you didn’t know you needed:

“If your marketing isn’t making money, it’s just expensive decoration.”

Too many companies treat marketing like a high school prom committee—lots of glitter, no ROI. But real marketing is a business function. It should be tied to revenue, margin, and customer lifetime value—not just likes, shares, and the CEO’s gut feeling.

Step 1: Start With the Math (Yes, Really)

Before you even think about your next campaign, you need to know your numbers. Not just your CAC and LTV, but the full funnel math that drives your business. Here’s a simple framework to get you started:

Traffic → Leads → Opportunities → Revenue
What’s your conversion rate at each stage?
What’s your cost per lead, per opportunity, per customer?
What’s your average deal size and sales cycle length?

If you can’t answer those questions, you’re not doing marketing—you’re doing improv. And unless your name is Tina Fey, that’s not a strategy.

Step 2: Build a Message That Doesn’t Suck

Here’s a fun game: go to your competitor’s website and read their homepage out loud. Now read yours. If they sound like they were written by the same AI intern, congratulations—you’ve got a messaging problem.

Great marketing starts with a clear, differentiated message. Not “we’re innovative” or “we care about customers.” That’s table stakes. You need to answer:

Why should someone choose you over everyone else?
What pain do you solve better than anyone?
What’s your unique point of view on the market?

And for the love of all that is holy, say it like a human. Not like a corporate buzzword generator on a bender.

Example: Slack vs. Microsoft Teams

Slack: “Where work happens.” Simple. Human. Memorable.

Microsoft Teams: “A collaborative workspace within Microsoft 365.” Yawn. Sounds like it was written by Clippy after a bad breakup.

Step 3: Stop Chasing Channels—Build a System

Every week, some new platform shows up promising to be the next big thing. Threads. BeReal. Bluesky. Whatever. Chasing channels is like dating apps—you’ll waste a lot of time and still end up ghosted.

Instead, build a marketing system that works across channels. Think of it like a flywheel, not a funnel. Here’s what that looks like:

Attract: Content, SEO, paid media, partnerships
Engage: Email, webinars, product tours, retargeting
Convert: Landing pages, demos, sales enablement
Delight: Onboarding, customer marketing, referrals

Each part feeds the next. And when it’s working, it compounds. Like interest. Or your caffeine addiction.

Step 4: Measure What Matters (Spoiler: It’s Not Vanity Metrics)

Let’s play a game called “Metric or Mirage.”

Pageviews: Mirage
Leads by source: Metric
Instagram likes: Mirage
Pipeline influenced: Metric
Open rates: Mirage (unless you’re selling to inboxes)

Track what drives revenue. Period. If your dashboard looks like a social media manager’s vision board, you’re doing it wrong.

Step 5: Align With Sales or Die Trying

Marketing and sales should be like peanut butter and jelly—not peanut butter and passive-aggressive Slack messages. If your teams aren’t aligned on ICP, messaging, and lead quality, you’re just passing the blame baton in a relay race to nowhere.

Here’s how to fix it:

Agree on what a qualified lead actually is
Set shared goals (like pipeline, not just MQLs)
Meet weekly to review what’s working and what’s not
Celebrate wins together (preferably with tacos)

When marketing and sales are aligned, magic happens. And by magic, I mean revenue. Which is the only kind of magic your CFO believes in.

Final Thought: Stop Playing Small

Marketing isn’t about being cute. It’s about being clear, bold, and effective. It’s about owning your space, telling your story, and driving real business results. So stop playing small. Stop chasing trends. And for the love of all that is strategic