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Table of Contents
- Marketing Isn’t Magic—It’s Math (With Better Fonts)
- The Big Lie: “We Just Need More Awareness”
- Framework: The “Math Before Magic” Model
- 1. Diagnose the Funnel
- 2. Fix the Bottlenecks
- 3. Scale What Works
- Case Study: The SaaS Startup That Thought It Needed PR
- Marketing Tips That Actually Work (No Crystals Required)
- Stop Worshipping the Algorithm. Start Serving the Customer.
- The Bottom Line: Strategy > Stunts
- Ready to Market Like a Grown-Up?
Marketing Isn’t Magic—It’s Math (With Better Fonts)
Let’s get one thing straight: marketing isn’t a mystical art practiced by hoodie-wearing wizards whispering to the algorithm gods. It’s not a vibe. It’s not a TikTok dance. And it sure as hell isn’t “just going viral.”
Marketing is math. It’s strategy. It’s systems. It’s spreadsheets with more tabs than a conspiracy theorist’s browser. And yes, it’s also storytelling—but the kind that sells, not the kind that makes your brand sound like it’s going through a midlife crisis in a yurt.
The Big Lie: “We Just Need More Awareness”
Ah yes, the classic. The marketing equivalent of “we should grab coffee sometime.” Vague. Non-committal. And almost always a cover for not knowing what the hell is actually broken.
Here’s the truth bomb:
“If your funnel leaks like a colander, pouring more traffic into it just gives you a wet floor and a sad CFO.”
Before you throw money at awareness, ask yourself:
- Is our positioning clear enough that a 5th grader could pitch it?
- Do we convert traffic, or just collect it like Pokémon cards?
- Are we measuring the right things—or just the things that make us feel good?
Framework: The “Math Before Magic” Model
Here’s a simple framework I use with clients who think they need a viral video when what they really need is a working funnel:
1. Diagnose the Funnel
Start with the numbers. Not the vibes. Look at:
- Traffic sources and cost per click
- Landing page conversion rates
- Lead-to-opportunity conversion
- Sales cycle length and close rate
If you don’t know these numbers, you’re not doing marketing. You’re doing hope with a budget.
2. Fix the Bottlenecks
Find the weakest link and fix it before scaling. If your landing page converts at 0.3%, don’t spend more on ads—spend more on copywriting and UX. If your sales team ghosts leads like a bad Tinder date, fix the handoff process.
3. Scale What Works
Once the funnel is tight, then—and only then—do you pour gas on the fire. That’s when you invest in brand, content, and yes, even that sexy podcast idea your CEO won’t shut up about.
Case Study: The SaaS Startup That Thought It Needed PR
Let me tell you about a SaaS company I worked with. They were burning $50K/month on PR and content, but their demo-to-close rate was 4%. That’s not a funnel. That’s a sieve.
We paused the PR, rewrote their landing pages, added a qualification step, and trained their sales team to stop pitching like they were selling timeshares. Within 90 days, their close rate jumped to 18% and CAC dropped by 40%.
Magic? Nope. Just math. And maybe a little tough love.
Marketing Tips That Actually Work (No Crystals Required)
- Write like a human, not a brand guide. If your copy sounds like it was written by a committee of lawyers and robots, rewrite it.
- Test before you invest. Don’t build a 12-month content calendar before testing what actually resonates.
- Track leading indicators. Pipeline velocity > vanity metrics. Engagement is cute. Revenue is cuter.
- Don’t scale chaos. If your ops are a mess, scaling just makes the mess bigger. Like giving a toddler espresso.
Stop Worshipping the Algorithm. Start Serving the Customer.
Too many marketers are chasing the algorithm like it’s a golden retriever with their wallet. But here’s the thing: algorithms change. Customers don’t. They still want clarity, value, and a reason to care.
So instead of asking, “How do we hack the LinkedIn algo?” ask, “Why should anyone give a damn about this post?”
Because if your content doesn’t make your audience feel smarter, seen, or slightly entertained, it’s just digital litter.
The Bottom Line: Strategy > Stunts
Marketing isn’t about being the loudest. It’s about being the clearest. The most relevant. The most useful. And yes, sometimes the funniest—because humor builds trust faster than a 10-page whitepaper ever will.
So stop chasing magic. Start doing the math. And for the love of all that is holy, stop saying “we just need to go viral.”
Ready to Market Like a Grown-Up?
If you’re tired of marketing that feels like a group project gone wrong, let’s talk. Or at least connect. I promise no buzzwords, no fluff, and no “synergy.” Just strategy that works—and maybe a few jokes along the way.
Mark Gabrielli
Founder MarkCMO
[email protected]
www.linkedin.com/in/marklgabrielli